Daffodil Lane

Why We Homeschool

2011-09-26T13:53:23Z

For those of you that don't know we chose to homeschool Alexis long before she was even born. I had the idea brewing in my head before Jamison and I even met and luckily he agreed with my assessment. There are many reasons, but the main reason was the deteriorating state of our school system's actual educating processes and the increased amount of violence. I simply wanted to make sure that Alexis got a well rounded education in all subjects, most importantly science and math, which have been watered down to practically nothing in some cases, and was able to do so in a relatively stress and violence free environment on a consistent basis.

When you tell people that you homeschool there are two reactions that you normally elicit, most people think it's really cool and ask a lot of positive questions or the other reaction you get is where people give you a terse "Oh!" and look at you as if to say "You're one of THOSE people! Bet you have your kid locked up in the basement unsocialized!" The first group are fun to talk to, the other group I've found it best to ignore them and move on. Some people just will not be pleased no matter what you do.

There is a misconception for some that all homeschooled children are kept sheltered, have no friends, don't participate in any activities outside of the home, etc. This isn't true in most cases. For instance Alexis is in a local Girl Scout Brownie troop, does various programs with other kids her age in arts, science, physical activities, etc. She attended several day camps during the summer along these lines and she is also very involved with our church's youth program.

We go out and do activities often. We're out and about all the time and Alexis is a very social child. She's never met a stranger and will talk to most anyone, unless they are mean toward her. Around our community people know Alexis and call her by name. She has that type of personality that makes it easy for her to like and be liked by anyone, and she has several very close friends she spends time with, along with acquaintances as well. Last Saturday she did an art class at the local library. This Saturday she will be working on her Science badge with some of her fellow Brownies. She's quite the little social butterfly!

There are also a lot of collaborative homeschool groups out there if you're interested. We don't utilize these groups, because it isn't our thing, but it is a good resource for those who might not feel comfortable with one subject, and excel at another. While someone in the group is helping the children with math, you might teach another group story writing. Most of these groups are called "Co-ops" and you can usually find one in your community or one nearby. These groups can meet once a week, once a month, etc. It depends on the group itself. Some are religious based, some are not. You can usually find one that fits your needs if you are interested in such things.

A lot of people assume that religion factors into the decision to homeschool and for us that is not the case. I let Alexis get her religious education at church on Sunday and we leave it at that. She knows the basic principles that are important in life and that's all that matters to me. She knows to treat others as she wants to be treated, she knows to help those who might need help, she knows that she is a very lucky girl and not all children are. She also knows not to make fun of people and not to be mean. She is one of the most empathetic people I have ever met, if you're sad she's sad with you, if you're happy, she'll be happy as well, if you're in pain it upsets her and she wants to help you alleviate that pain. She worries about people. She has a huge heart. I have friends that do fit religious education into their homeschool classes and that works for them and that is how it should be...Your program should fit your needs. For us though religion in class isn't a factor.

This year we're going further in depth in many branches of science, including chemistry, biology, physics, astronomy, botany, marine biology and geology. We are continuing our study of French and Spanish which is a lot of fun. We also are reading kid's versions of literary classics, along with some of these stories just straight up. We're doing more indepth story writing, art and music, history, geography, money, time, nutrition, anatomy, critical thinking, note taking skills, etc. Alexis is also learning to type. To round out each day Alexis writes a daily journal entry that tells about her day, something she'd like to do, something she just did, etc.

I also am a firm believer in hands on, on site, learning. If you're studying sharks, why not go to the aquarium and take a look at an actual shark? Studying George Washington? We're lucky enough to live near a lot of history surrounding Washington DC, Baltimore and New York isn't really that far away either. So for Mr. Washington we went to Mount Vernon. What better place to learn about one our founding fathers than his own home? Scientific experiments are easily done at home, or out in nature, or whenever you can observe or touch what you're studying. Reading about something is great, and it's part of the overall whole, but seeing it in action is in my opinion an imperative tool as well.

But homeschooling is expensive some argue. I disagree with you there. I will admit I buy a lot of books each year, because we are very much book people, but I find a lot of material for free online too. You would be amazed what is out there. Of course you have to look at these sources with a critical eye to ensure the information they are presenting is indeed true or factual, but it isn't too hard to distinguish the ones that are what they should be, and those that are not.

This year, though I hated to see it close, Borders going out of business was a rare opportunity for me to afford some of the books I had always wanted to use in our schooling. I also like to give Alexis computer and Wii games that are fun, yet educational. Kids can learn a lot while having fun without even realizing that they are learning, which in some cases is a good thing.

Is homeschooling for everyone? No, it isn't. In order to homeschool you have to have a lot of patience, a lot of preparation and will power to go the distance. Are there bad days homeschooling? You betcha! But most days are good, or at least that is how it is for us. Alexis is comfortable enough with me, as I am her Mom, to test her boundaries some days, so it's important to ensure you stick to what needs to be done. Homeschooling also gives you the flexibility to move on when your child is ready to go to the next step and to take a little extra time on certain things that your child might have a bit harder time understanding. Homeschooling is a perfect way for you to allow your child to learn at their own pace.

In short? Homeschooling works for us. Will it work for you? That is up to you to decide.

Murphy's Law In The Morning

2011-09-21T14:47:23Z

Murphy's Law states: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong" and boy this morning was that ever true!

I had an appointment this morning at 8:15 on the other side of the county to get some yearly physical tests run. I set my alarm to go off at 6:30 with that new Joe Jonas song that I equally despise and can't stop listening to all at the same time. Somehow my iPod came unconnected from the dock during the night and said alarm never rang. I woke up at 7:30, which was actually the time I needed to LEAVE not wake up! Somehow I got up, got dressed, brushed my teeth and hair, put myself together, even threw on a little makeup, and got out the door in 7 minutes. Yay me!

I hate the feeling of running late. I'm an early bird in terms of arriving somewhere. I always have been. The stress of knowing you're going to be late is something I can't handle. The stress of knowing I am leaving someone waiting really bothers me. I'm too OCD and I like to do things on my own terms, and my terms so happen to be arriving on time or early if possible. So that feeling of dread settled on my shoulders and pressed down with malicious glee.

I was driving (Very fast!) down the interstate, luckily coming across no cops along the way, listening and singing along to that stupid Joe Jonas song on loop, because apparently I'm a glutton for punishment (Damn catchy tune!), happy with the time I was making, when I had to switch roads. The road that was the next path on my little morning jaunt was a standstill parking lot. Hello Murphy! I'm not pleased to see you and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!

I took the first exit off of this road and immediately called Jamison to find a way across country that would allow me to make it there without having to get back on to the parking lot extraordinaire. I knew of one short cut, but it would make me have to get back on parking lot road and I knew there had to be another path. He found one and luckily I walked in the door at 8:14. I had an overwhelming sense of relief!

After my first appointment I had a second one that I needed to go to, which luckily was two buildings up from the building I was currently in. Unfortunately Murphy decided to come back and sit on my shoulder again because they didn't call me back until 15 minutes AFTER my appointment was supposed to be, so that crushing feeling of stress moved back on in. Lovely. Murphy was on my last nerve at this point.

Somehow she managed to finish my appointment and I walked in to my next meeting with yet another minute to spare. I heaved another sigh of relief, signed in and sat down to wait for my 9:15 appointment. Murphy being ever the "helpful" little law that it thinks it is came back in terms of them running behind. I wasn't as overwhelmed by this because I had no where specific to be after that other than running by the store and then returning home to do school, and neither of those expected me to be there at a specific time.

After a few minutes of playing Crazy Quilt Solitaire on my iPod to help me ignore the really bad programming they had on their waiting room TV, I realized that the poor woman next to me was shaking. She was 7 months pregnant and had just taken her blood glucose test. The test wasn't settling well and she was trying not to throw up. With this one I just wanted to flip Murphy the bird. I mean come on! This poor woman was already miserably pregnant, still having day long nausea from her little bundle of joy and then Murphy comes in and throws her a curve ball. Murphy kindly go home!

I began talking to the lady next to me to distract her a bit. She was a fabulously nice lady, who simply felt like dirt and my heart went out to her. We had a nice little conversation, despite the fact she really just wanted to hurl. It was one of those things I like to call a drive by friendship, because you'll most likely never meet again, but you are there in the moment, and I hope I helped her in some way, though I know she really felt miserable, but I really do think I helped a bit. A bit is better than nothing. I wish I could have done more for her. She went back right before I did to have her blood work done. I felt joyous for a moment because I wanted to smirk at Murphy and yell "Is that all you've got? Come on!"

I was called back several minutes later to do my blood work and I took a sip of water from a bottle in my purse not realizing it was "strictly forbidden" by the facility. I wanted to roll my eyes at the woman, but I simply put the lid back on my bottle and told her I hadn't realized that was the fact and the incident passed without drama. Murphy rearing his ugly little head again, but I nipped him in the bud. That'll teach Murphy to mess with me!

Luckily my blood tests went off without a hitch and I made my way out to the parking lot about 2 minutes later. When I got in my car, I saw the poor woman that I had spoken with hunched over in the parking lot trying not to hurl. Her mother was easing her toward the car, and you could see the nausea had definitely not left her. At this point I wanted to run Murphy over with my car. Murphy I have decided should be banned before noon at least, if not all together!

Lesson learned? Murphy sucks and you shouldn't tempt him once he gets rolling or he'll only make it worse.

What I really want to say to Murphy? Eff you, you vile monster! Go back to the hole you crawled out of and stay there!

Conversations With Alexis

2011-09-19T21:11:38Z

Scene: Alexis and I are at a restaurant today for lunch after visiting the library. A very tall, very handsome man in his late 40's/early 50's comes in and the waitress greets him as if she knows him.

A: Mom is that man famous?

D: *glancing over at the man in question* No. Why do you ask?

A: She's making a big deal out of him. *wrinkling her nose*

D: I think he's a regular costumer like us and she just knows him that way, but he's not famous.

A: Well he's very tall. He should be!

D: *I grin at her* I'm not sure it works that way.

A: *dismissively* Well it should.

End

Oh my naive little child, how I love you so. Most men from Hollywood are short. Being tall is not the norm, but I didn't have the heart to tell her.

Maryland is a Hopping Place

2011-08-29T19:45:56Z

In the past week we've had an earthquake AND a hurricane. I don't know about you, but that's a little too hopping for me! This is the second earthquake we've had in a year or so, though this one was more what I always imagined (and feared) a quake to be. We get hurricanes and tropical storms from time to time, so it's not unheard of, but it was a bit nerve wracking to say the least, especially within mere days of each other.

The earthquake flat out terrified Alexis. Jamison was working away at his desk, I was working out and she was doing her own little thing upstairs by herself. I felt the hairs on the back of my arm stand up and I was confused because I couldn't figure out why exactly that was happening. As I was studying my arm I felt/heard a small rumbling and thought Alexis was jumping around upstairs so I sent Jamison up to check on her since he was closer. I decided to go examine the issue too and was halfway across the floor when the house started to shake in earnest. We're talking full out walls moving, floor bouncing, light fixtures swaying, pictures moving around on the wall quake here. Surprisingly I wasn't scared. The last one freaked me out, but this one I was calm. I was however worried about Alexis because I knew this wasn't going to be her cup of tea. I called to Jamison and told him to keep going to get to Alexis and he did.

After our little quake it took about an hour or so to calm Alexis down...She was that scared. She is still a little twitchy about the whole thing. She asks me several times a day if I can feel the floor moving or the ground shaking because she's afraid it's going to happen again. I keep assuring her she's fine, and while I can't promise her that we won't have another earthquake, she needs to stop worrying about it so much because I'll take care of her. She gives me one of those looks that clearly indicates she thinks I'm nuts, but she settles down and goes on about her day.

In Lex's mind earthquake equals unmitigated horror. Bring on a hurricane/tropical storm however and after a little explanation of what is happening and how it works the kid kicks in to all out explore mode!

At first she was uneasy about the storm especially when I started moving things in to the garage from the patio so they wouldn't blow around. I quipped on Twitter that I wouldn't resent battening down the hatches as much if I had an ocean view to go along with the trouble, but Alexis wasn't quite sure why I was moving all of the things. I kept telling her we were far enough inland that we would get a lot of wind and rain, but the big stuff would happen on the coast, but that we still needed to be prepared just in case.

On Saturday she wasn't too sure about this, equating hurricanes with tornadoes, especially as the wind picked up. She thought we were going to have to sit in the basement all day Saturday in to early Sunday morning. She kept fretting, something that Alexis is exceptionally good at much like her father, but finally she calmed. Saturday afternoon, after reassuring her quite a bit, Jamison finally showed her a weather map and explained how the storm worked. Once he was finished with that I took her outside and showed her how the clouds were swirling. From that point on she was hooked!

As you can see in the picture above she's a happy little "weather girl" with her head covered from the sprinkles. She decided to stay on the patio for a while and I was ok with that. All we had was a lot of wind at that point so I let her be and explore.

She ran around on the patio testing the wind speed and direction for about an hour. I finally had to make her come in and put on rain boots when it started raining and then she headed back out with her wellies, sweater and umbrella and kept up her little exploration.

We never had any thunder or lightening, just wind and rain. When it got dark I made her come in for good. She was disappointed that the storm passed during the night. By the time she got up on Sunday morning we had a few sprinkles and light wind. The worst of Irene had passed on up the coast to wreak her havoc there. Luckily we were spared any damage despite the wind being a little fierce here and there.

I love that Alexis looks at all this stuff as a learning opportunity and it amuses me that she seems as drawn to the ocean, its power and all things aquatic just as I am. I've sat through Isabel back in 2003 when we lived closer to the Chesapeake Bay and that was enough for me, but the experience is there. Alexis doesn't remember that storm, or the tropical storm that blew through a few years ago either, but I have a feeling she'll remember Irene for a while and if not I'll be happy to share the the pictures with her and tell her about her windy/rainy adventures when she gets older.

She is so my child.

Happy 8th Birthday Alexis!

2011-06-24T23:58:41Z

Dear Alexis,

How is possible that 8 years have gone by since the day you were born? It seems like it was just yesterday that I was writing the missive for your 6th and 7th birthdays! Time passes so quickly and seems to more so now that you are in my life.

Eight years ago today you blazed in to my world and it changed me forever. Before you have children people will tell you how much it will change not only your life, but you as well. I knew things would change, but I didn't understand the extent to which that was true. Before you were born I knew love, but I don't think I even came close to understanding what love actually was. Once you arrived I had no doubt that I completely grasped what it was to love someone. Parents always say that their kids have changed them, but you truly have changed me and I think for the better.

As trite as it might sound you are my sunshine, just like the song I sing to you so often before you go to bed. I see the entire world through your eyes and things that I have long since gotten over the wonder of look brand new through you. You bring the shine back to the simplest of things, a flower, a butterfly, a book, a song. I love looking at things through you. You completely change my ideas on a regular basis. You challenge me in the best ways, even on days where I am over your drama and just want to sell you to the circus! Even on those days you can still amaze me in big ways. I love that about you.

I loved seeing New York at Christmas through your eyes. I can't wait to see a Broadway show through your eyes this fall. I loved that we had been on the streets of New York for less than 10 minutes and you turned to me and said, "Mom I so want to move here!" You see life as an adventure and life really should be just that. I've loved watching you learn and grow. Everyday you learn something new and many days you teach me a thing or two as well. I like that about you.

I've mentioned before how caring you are, but it still amazes me how much this grows with you. You are my little empath. You feel in ways that astound me, in a good way. If someone is happy, you are happy with them. You reflect their joy. If someone is sad, you'll cry with them and do anything you can think of to make them feel better. You are the most caring person I've ever known. This is another thing I love about you.

I worry sometimes that you are too empathetic and the big bad world is going to come in an squash you like a little bug. My heart broke for you at Papaw's funeral. You were devastated, partly because you were and partly because you were feeding off of the sad energy in the room. As I held you close and told you everything was going to be ok, you got this look on your face like you knew it was true. It wasn't until after the funeral that you stopped crying, but you realized that life hands you things you might not like, but you have to muddle through. You always pull yourself up. I love that about you.

I've told you before, but I still hope that all your dreams come true. You have such big ideas about the world and how it should be. You want to make things better. I really like that about you. I hope that you never lose that wide eyed wonder of the world. I hope you go and see and do. Don't end up regretting the things you never did. Do them! You'll regret what you didn't do much more than the things you did even if they don't turn out the way you might have hoped. One thing that will never change is that you can learn something from any situation, whether it be good or bad. The important part is to learn and move on to the next adventure. Trust me, there will always be another adventure, all you have to do is hope, dream, look and find. Enjoy life! You only get one.

The most important thing to remember is that I always love you. I am your biggest fan and your most ardent supporter. I will always be there to listen, to hold you when you cry, to help you understand the things that might seem completely incomprehensible, to help when you need a hand. I'm so glad that you came in to my life. I'm so glad that you are you. Never change to suit someone else. It's essential to be yourself. If you have to change to have a friend then they aren't worth having and aren't a true friend to begin with. You are amazing just as you are.

Love,

Mom

Goodbye Papaw

2011-01-25T18:34:52Z

I've been writing this entry in my head since shortly after my grandfather passed away on January 7th. I just can't seem to give him the justice he deserves in my mind, but I will try none the less.

As a child I was lucky to have not only all four grandparents still alive, but my mom's grandmother as well. "Nana" as we called her, passed away first. I remember her as a small, lovely woman who we visited in her home and then in the nursing home where she ended up passing away. This was my first real brush with death and given I was a child it scared and intrigued me both, though I didn't really understand the whole situation at that age. To this day I slightly panic in nursing homes because of this experience.

My next brush with death came when my grandfather, who we called "Dad", passed away in 1987. He was my father's father and I was in the 8th grade when he passed. This time I understood the implications of what had happened. Dad was one of my favorite people of all time. He was such a kindred spirit and this death hit me really hard. Now, even 24 years later, I still miss him in ways that are hard to describe.

My other three grandparents held on for 20 more years or so. Not many people in their mid thirties can say that they had three surviving grandparents. My Mamaw went 1st. I always liked her. She was eccentric and a little weird at times, but she definitely was her own person. She was funny and warm and I really enjoyed knowing her. Her death was sad, but a blessing in a way. She was in pain and she was ravaged by Alzheimer's Disease. While Dad's death in 1987 was a big surprise at least he never suffered. He didn't get to the stage where he couldn't fend for himself. He never had to be put into a nursing home or an assisted living facility. My other three grandparents were not that lucky.

The next to pass away was my father's mother. She had to go into an assisted living facility when she started having problems with falling. Her mind also went and she traveled the path of dementia. In all honesty I had many problems with "Mother" as we called her. She was very harsh and very critical of me, and not in any means in a way that could be considered even slightly helpful. In short looking back she was verbally abusive and most of this abuse she saved to dole out to me and my Mom, who she never wanted to marry my father and she never let her forget that fact. I forgave her before she passed away, and while I was sad about her death in some ways, for the most part it was a relief as harsh as that may sound. No one deserves to suffer though and she most definitely suffered as well.

Papaw held on until just a few weeks ago. He would have been 94 on June the 7th of this year. I always seemed to be closer to my grandfathers than my grandmothers. Papaw to me was one of the sweetest people I have ever met. He always had a smile on his face and he would tell you how pretty you were and tease you about taking you home with him. Every time I saw him, save at Mamaw's funeral where he was utterly devastated, I came away with a smile. He was the kind of person who just made you not only feel good, but to feel better about yourself too. He was very special.

Papaw worked for the Forest Service when I was a child and he would bring us things with Smokey the Bear and Woodsy Owl on them, like notebooks and pencils. He often wore his Forest Service uniform even after he retired and when we arrived at the funeral home seeing him in a Forest Service uniform to be buried was a blast from the past! It was such an appropriate tribute to who he was. He was an outdoor type of person through and through and loved nature in a way that many do not.

Alexis met Papaw twice. Alexis was not a traveling sort of kid as a young child. She never slept in the car. In fact she's fallen asleep in a car exactly 6 times in her entire life and 3 of those times she was very ill at the time. When she was a baby we'd sometimes drive over to eat lunch with Jamison in the town where he worked. It was a 20-30 minute drive depending on traffic and she literally would scream the whole way. It was not fun. So needless to say traveling with her was out of the question until she got a little older and could be distracted with a portable DVD player.

The first time Alexis met Papaw was at Mamaw's funeral. I call Alexis "My Little Empath" because she is one of the most empathetic people I have ever been around. If you're sad, she's going to be sad for/with you. If you're crying she's going to cry as long as you do. As I mentioned above Papaw was devastated when his wife of a little over 60 years passed away. Alexis sensed this sadness and was wary of getting to close to him because she thought he was in physical pain and she didn't want to make it worse. So the first time she met him she didn't have much interaction with him.

The second time Alexis met Papaw was this past spring and he was so sweet with her. He started having problems with memory and things by this point as well, but he was in awe of her, even though he didn't know who she was the entire time. He floated between knowing who we were and not. He told her, and me, many times how sweet and pretty she was and he gave us both big hugs. It was heartwarming to see them together and for me to get to spend time with him. It was also a bit heartbreaking too when he would fade in and out, but I'm so glad that Alexis got to spend that time with him and now has a fond memory of him, along with pictures of the two of them together.

I have so many happy memories of Papaw. One that always sticks out in my mind is his spring water. He would go up to the mountains where my mom grew up, near the old "homestead" and fill a container with spring water. He carried this container of spring water around with him in a cooler and it was always ice cold. We thought it was such a treat to get to drink his water. Funnily enough the source of his water is now bottled and sold after the bottled water trend took off. Papaw was before his time, and environmentally conscious by using his own container to boot!

Papaw was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in the past few years and it slowly took its toll on him. He had many bouts of pneumonia as fluid settled in his lungs and as I mentioned his memory faded in and out as dementia began to wreak havoc on his mind. At the end he was miserable, and he told my mom as much several times. He was ready to go. That doesn't make it any less sad that he's gone, but I can appreciate that he is no longer in pain and that puts my mind more at ease.

I'll miss Papaw. I missed not seeing him as much after we moved to Maryland. I hope now he's at peace and he's back with Mamaw who he missed so much. I will always remember him and his fabulous smile!

Lex's Letter To The Tooth Fairy

2010-12-08T18:18:16Z

Things I Like About Fall And Things I Could Leave Behind

2010-11-05T16:24:52Z

I love fall. It's one of my all time favorite seasons. The cool crisp air, the beautiful leaves that create a canvass of color across the landscape, big pumpkins, steaming apple cider and fresh apples oh my! It's just a really fabulous time of the year!

But you know what I miss?

Flips flops and no shoes! I hate shoes, I'm a barefoot kind of girl and always have been. So now that the weather has grown cooler and it's time to pull out real shoes again I'm not so happy about that part of the season. I have had on real shoes exactly zero times since late April/early May! I slid on flip flops if I was going out and if I was at home I was barefoot.

Now this doesn't make me like Fall any less, the good of the season more than outweighs the bad, and I actually like cold weather much better than hot, which some people think is odd, but I really will miss my flips flops and bare toes!

Don't Forget To Vote!

2010-11-02T17:53:22Z

If you need more information on polling places and such check out Rock The Vote.

It's not the time to be timid now. Remember if you don't vote then don't complain!

Fall Colors

2010-10-25T13:58:22Z

I love these colors!

I wish they lasted longer! I love fall!

Day Five

2010-10-15T15:45:59Z

It's healing nicely! Not too shabby!

What Did You Do Today?

2010-10-12T00:27:11Z

I got a tattoo, or in other words this was my birthday present to myself!

I'm very pleased with the results!

This is the pewter button it is designed around:

If you live in Maryland and want a tattoo I highly recommend Alfie at Marks of the Spark Tattoos in Frederick! He's awesome!

Thanks to my friend Leann for spending the day with me and being my tattoo buddy! I've had an awesome birthday!

Havre de Grace, MD

2010-10-10T00:23:26Z

Today we popped over to Havre de Grace, MD to celebrate my upcoming birthday. I have plans on Monday with a friend that I'll tell you about later, but today I really, really wanted to get close to the Bay because I really miss spending time near the water. We ate lunch at Tidewater Grille, Alexis rode a horse and we walked around the promenade around the Concord Point Lighthouse. On the way home we stopped at IKEA and I had forgotten how fabulous that place is! It was a really, really all around great day! I love days like this!

I hope you all had a fabulous Saturday too.

Happy Place: Late Season Roses

2010-09-18T20:28:13Z

True Blood and Why I Haven't Been Talking About It This Season

2010-09-11T23:03:04Z

I've gotten several e-mails and DMs on Twitter asking why I wasn't recapping True Blood episodes this season (Feel free to comment guys! ;oP) so I thought I'd give you an idea of why you probably don't want me to!

Warning: From This Point On Spoilers For The Show So Far This Season And The Books!

First off I have to say I do NOT like where Alan Ball has taken the show in general. He took a story that I was very emotionally invested in, having read and loved all the books, and totally bastardized not only the story, but some of the characters themselves! There are some things I like that he has added and we'll get to that in a minute and then I'll tell you everything I think he has done wrong. You may be sorry you asked! ;oP

First let me say this is a brilliant cast. Rarely do you see so many talented actors/actresses on one show. They take what they are given and more than do it justice. I can't think of a single one of the actors or actresses on the show that haven't done a good job with what they are given. You can't fault the quality of the acting.

OK...What he has done right in terms of additions and characters. Jessica. Seriously that is a fabulous character! And making Bill her maker, I'll just say that was brilliant. The way Bill and Jessica have bonded this season, I like that. It works. I also like Hoyt and Jessica together. They are cute.

The next thing he did right was Lafayette. In the books he is a very minor character who dies at the end of the first book, but in the show he is so fabulous! Nelsan Ellis plays that role to a tee! He's good and I can't wait to see him in other things. Lafayette's one liners and quips are just great! And I love the relationship between he and Tara, who have sort of been thrown out to the wind, and though family end up more like friends. That is well played.

Speaking of Tara, that was also a good change. She also is more of minor character in the books, but Rutina Wesley has taken that character and just made her so much more. She's good, the change from the book is good. I like it. I also like her with Sam. That change I don't mind.

Alcide is also better on the show as far as I'm concerned. Joe Manganiello has taken a character I didn't care that much for in the books and turned him in to someone I really like on the show. I can relate to him and I never felt a connection to that character in the books. I'm glad he's going to be a permanent cast member for season four, which we'll discuss in a bit.

And lastly the change I like was the character of Franklin Mott, which is a very, very minor character in the books. James Frain took that character and made him so deliciously psychotic that I hated to see him die! That texting scene? Brilliant! Also how he seemed so insanely sincere about his feeling for Tara and how she reacted to him was just priceless!

Now let's talk about what bothers me...A LOT!

First let me say that I realize when a story is adapted, whether to the big screen, or the small, that some things change. That is just how it is as much as I might hate it, but fundamentally changing a character is not ever something that someone should do! We'll talk more about that below.

First, I have only one thought about Holly: She's too old! The character in the book is a young woman.

Moving on....

Now let's talk about this character shift Sam has gone on the past few episodes. Sam a thief and a murderer? Um no! Sam is the loyal, good guy, friend that you can always depend on. Every girl has one of those, and even if there are some feelings there, the friendship is still strong. Sam yelling and throwing everyone out of his bar? Wouldn't happen! Shooting that guy and girl? No! Stealing jewels? Hell no! I don't like this turn of the show at all! That really, really bothered me.

Then let's address Ball's Comic Con statement of Bill and Sookie being soulmates? WTF? Bill was Sookie's first love, but he betrayed her in such a big way that there is no way they can move past that. I've said it before, I'll say it again, Bill (in the books) has grown on me. I didn't like him at first, I was on Team Eric from the minute Eric Northman came on to the page, but in the past few books I've started to like him...Just not with Sookie!

I'm not sure where Charlaine Harris is headed with Sookie and Eric, and there was a bit of foreshadowing that I am hoping I'm misreading at the end of the last book in terms of Eric and Sookie, but regardless I don't think Bill and Sookie are anywhere close to soulmates! I'm not sure what books he read, but he didn't read the ones I did! I think people are confusing Anna and Stephen, who are really great together in the real world, and Bill and Sookie, who are two entirely different "people".

Also the character of Russell has been completely destroyed. I'm not even sure how that happened, but wow...And not in a good way! Though I will admit the scene a few episodes ago when Russell goes crazy on live TV and takes out the anchor, rants and then turns it over to Tiffany for the weather was really fabulous! In the books Russell is a background character. He appears in a couple of the books, but he isn't so, what's the word I want to use? Evil. And there is absolutely no basis for the story with Russell killing Eric's parents, though Dennis O'Hare and Alexander Skarsgård have done really great with the animosity between them.

And Pam. I love that character both in the books and in the show. Kristin Bauer van Straten is really great with that character. But in the books Pam and Sookie are somewhat almost friends. In the last book she and Sookie do have a conversation about how Sookie makes Eric weak because of his feelings for her, but then a few minutes later they end up in a fight to the death with two vampires and they work together flawlessly. Later in the same book Pam tells Sookie she's her "favorite breather". In the books Sookie states several times that she is fond of Pam and that Pam is as close as she has to a friend in the vampire world. Ball seems to want to make them enemies. I don't like that. Pam is loyal to Eric, but Sookie is in her own way too. They make a formidable team.

Also Ball consistently seems to be driving a wedge between Eric and Sookie. At this point in the books Bill was pretty much out of the picture. Sookie couldn't handle him running off with Lorena because he lied to her and Sookie takes honesty very seriously. This is when Eric began to become more in to the picture, because as he says he may not tell her everything, but what he does tell her is true. It's Eric not Bill. Eric saved Sookie from Long Shadow in book one, not Bill. Eric takes the bullet for her in Dallas (which they sort of did in the show), not Bill. Bill ran off and didn't come back and Sookie made her way back to Bon Temps alone. Not with Bill.

Eric comes to Sookie for help finding Bill in the beginning of the 3rd book and sends her to Jackson in the care of Alcide and Eric pops up more than once while she is there and again when Sookie falls in to trouble and gets staked at Club Dead. He goes with her to Russell's mansion, he stays with her, he gives her blood to make her better and ends up driving her to back to Bon Temps when Bill basically attacks Sookie in the trunk of a car that Debbie Pelt pushes her in to. (I guess they sort of got that part right with the show.) And Sookie and Bill do NOT have sex after that point in the books. No. No. No!

And now the character of Eric, which is my favorite character in the books, and perhaps one of my favorite characters of all time. I really like Alexander Skarsgård. He's intense, he's talented and he takes what he is given and plays it so, so well. And let's face it he's beautiful, but that's just an added bonus and not the whole deal. What's not to like about a tall, handsome Scandinavian man? But if the man isn't talented then it's all a moot point, and Alexander definitely has the acting chops to back up the character. The essense of Eric he plays perfectly. The brooding, dark, handsome vampire, he has down to a tee. But Alan Ball seems to want to make Eric evil and Eric is not inherently evil. Don't get me wrong, Eric is the big bad vampire and he'd kill in a second if he had to save himself, to save Sookie, to save Pam, but he would never do or say some of the things that Ball has had him do this season. He wouldn't have left Sookie on her own at Russell's, he wouldn't have locked her up in the basement. That's not Eric.

Eric would have figured a way to get Sookie out. Although I guess he did send a message through Hadley for her not to trust Bill, but that doesn't really get her out of the crazy house. And this last episode in a way I guess you could construe it that he was saving Sookie by leading Russell out in to the sun to die thus making it so he couldn't take Sookie, even though he and Russell both drank from her to do so. (Which by the way is absolutely insane! Fairy blood doesn't make vampires be able to go out in the sun...It makes them high basically!) We'll have to wait to see how that turns out.

What would I like to see happen tomorrow night? I'd like to see Pam let Bill go, have him or Pam I don't care which give her blood to make her better, and then have Sookie go out in the sun to save Eric. Russell needs to go, but I'd like to see Sookie step in and rescue Eric, which she does in the books in several places too. I want to see the bond between the two of them grow. What will we get? Most likely not that, so who knows.

News from casting coming out for next season already is disturbing. Instead of Hallow being a Were Witch it appears Ball is going to make her a Necromancer. Why? It isn't necessary. Book 4 is one of my favorites in the series, perhaps behind the past two books, especially the last book, which I really liked. I'm not sure I want to see how he destroys that book. I really, really am getting to the point that when I watch the show it makes me angry. I'm not sure tuning in just for the actors anymore is in my best interest. We'll see how I feel come next June, but right now it's not looking so good.

So tomorrow night we'll find out how this is going to end and we'll see what cliff hanger awaits us. I hope (though I don't really expect that it will happen) that it isn't infuriating. I guess we'll see in about 26 hours.